En cours de chargement...
Sometimes I muse on little things, like the meaning of life. I was raised in an extreme religious cult filled with all kinds of weird, whacked-out beliefs, all about a two-thousand-year-old dead Jewish zombie reanimated carpenter who desperately wanted to come inside me so he and I could live together forever in a castle on top of a cloud after I die. As attractive as that bizarre fairytale was, I really can't believe it anymore.
For the pack of phony weirdos in that cult, the only point of life was just about saying some magic words before you die (as soon as possible). A song I used to sing claims that, "Life Is But A Dream". In the Princess Bride, Westley says "'Life Is Pain', highness. anyone who says otherwise is selling something." That's certainly been my own experience; but that's not all of it. I think Life Is Horror.
And there's a lot of it to go around. There's the horror we have as children when we get injured: How could this happen to me?There's the horror of going to school, and finding out that some of those kids we're locked up with all day are murderous animals. There's the horror of getting caught doing something wrong. There's a special kind of horror in aging, in the accumulation of aches and pains, as well as watching yourself rot; you see it all the time in young people's faces when we old fucks show our saggy, spotty skins.
The dumb kids think that avoiding the oldies is the answer, but it isn't. Aging is a disease, and they're already infected. But the worst horror, even more awful than falling out of love, is losing the ones we love. It's inevitable. It often starts with goldfish that die; and then it's a gerbil; and then Grampa. And on and on it goes, as the years pile up like wrecked autos in a sixty car pile-up on the freeway.
The only solution I can even imagine is to stop loving anyone or anything; but loving is what defines us as human spirits, and we can't seem to kick the habit. So, Life Is Horror. Enjoy my horror story! Hugs, Béla DornonSeattle, 2024